How do I make my language *look* weird?

Question

We have some discussion of creating "weird" phonology already. But often, people will encounter conlangs by seeing them written. And many of those weirdnesses won't come across well in writing—if I include click consonants and write them as ǁ and ǂ, that's just as meaningless to an average reader as putting apostrophes everywhere in sci-fi names (I'm thinking of DC Comics martians, with names like John and Megan but spelled J'onn and M'gann). And most English-speakers can produce a retroflex consonant without much effort, but I can't think of any way of spelling a name that will tell them to do that.

What are some ways to make my conlang sound weird, unusual, or otherwise foreign to Standard Average European speakers, that will come across accurately in text (i.e. the foreign-ness doesn't disappear if you just ignore all the unfamiliar letters)?

Answer 1

For users of Standard Average European (SAE) languages, some sounds strongly suggest weirdness, specially sounds from Slavonic languages or Semitic languages, like kh, gh, or q.

In addition, SAE languages have a highly conventionalised set of allowed initial consonant clusters that can be approximated by the following set

bl    br
      dr
fl    fr
gl gn gr
kl kn kr ks kv/kw
pl pn pr ps
sl sn sr     sk skl skr skv/skw sp spl spr st str sv/sw *
      tr ts
      thr
vl/wl vr/wr
* s can turned to or replaced by sh in some SAE languages in some or 
all of these environments

Deviating from this conventional set, either by extending it (dl, tl, thl, dn, fn, tn, thn would constitute mild deviations, pfr, kkh, kshtr, psl or similar are wilder deviations), or by restricting it further, in the extreme to no initial consonant clusters at all, will create a feelable effekt. Add a lot of kh and q, and the language looks already weird.

Fantasy names are often pretty rich in vowels and tend to have hiatusses like ae, ie, or ue, this is another marker of weirdness and a "fantasy signal".

EDIT: Quite another approach, starting with completely unproblematic phonemes and clusters, is to impose a strong patterning at allowed word forms. like Lojban or Loglan do. A single word of those languages would not create much irritation, but a complete sentence (not to mention longer texts) already looks really weird.