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I want to translate those sentences in quenya :

One ring to show our love,

One ring to seal our love,

One ring to spread our light,

And forever to make us bright

This gives with latin letters the following :

Er cor ana tán our mel,

er cor ana seal our mel

er cor ana pále- our kal

ar ullúme ana care us calima

So this gives in Tengwar the text in the image I've joined.

What do you think? Do you have any correction to bring?

I wish you a good day. enter image description here

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    I don't know enough Quenya to give an actual translation, but that's absolutely not correct: it's got English words interspersed with the Quenya ones. (Also, though, if the goal is to imitate the Ring inscription, that's in Black Speech, not Quenya.)
    – Draconis
    Commented Jan 13 at 16:51
  • Hi, thanks a lot for your answer. I know the original is in black speech but I wanted a translation in quenya.
    – Dirac36
    Commented Jan 13 at 16:53
  • I propose a new translation : "Er corma an tana- our melmë, er corma an nut- our melmë er corma an faina- our cala, arë illúme an alya- ve cal "
    – Dirac36
    Commented Jan 13 at 19:49
  • Except the our I can't translate correctly. I use this dictionary (since I'm french) : ambar-eldaron.com/telechargements/quenya-fr-A4.pdf. What do you think?
    – Dirac36
    Commented Jan 13 at 19:50

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I don't know where you got those "Quenya" lines but they look suspiciously like from a certain broken machine translator which is absolutely not helpful.

I'd use corma for "ring" - cor would be Sindarin. (cf. Cormacolindor "Ring-bearers")

Er corma "One ring" sounds about right.

Now "to show" is to explain the purpose or attribute of "One ring". AFAIK, the only known sample from the corpus that comes close is

Vanda sina termaruva Elenna-nóreo alcar enyalien

Oath this stand-FUT Star-wards-land-GEN glory recall-GERUND-DATIVE.

"This oath shall stand in memory of the glory of the Land of the Star" Or literally "This oath shall stand for the recalling of/to recall ..."

This would lead to: Er corma tanien <our love>.

**mel from your translation would be the bare stem of the verb "to love". No, you can't use a verb here, let alone its stem. The noun is melme.

So depending on who WE are, our love can be translated:

melmelva "our love (mine, yours, and others')"

melmelma "our love (ours, not yours)"

Or let's say it should be:

melmenqua "our love (between you and me, the two of us)"

The first line would then be:

Er corma tanien melmenqua.

the third:

Er corma palien calanqua.

And The fourth:

ar ullume carien inque calima

and forever make-GERUND-DATIVE us/thee-and-me bright

Or:

ar ullume calimatien inque

and forever bright-CAUSATIVE-GERUND-DATIVE us/thee-and-me

The second line is tricky because I can't find a word for "seal". Maybe you can find a replacement with a real dictionary.

Alternatively, instead of using the dative form of a gerund, you can use a relative clause, which is far better attested in Quenya.

Er corma i tana melmenqua One ring that shows our love.

??

Er corma i palya calanqua One ring that spreads our light

Ar ullume calmata inque ~

I found a fan-coined verb *lihta- "to seal" (from líco "wax"), it looks OK, IMO.

The second line can therefore be either:

Er corma lihtien melmenqua

or

Er corma i lihta melmenqua

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